I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize