i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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