She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
