so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
