put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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