Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize