i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
