Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
