Where are you?
In a non slutty way
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
