Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
