How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize