Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
