so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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