I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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