i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think your dad took our porno
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
