rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize