Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
