he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
