Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you had me at cake vodka
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
