That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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