Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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