It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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