He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
