Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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