yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
