Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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