Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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