you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
