ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
