Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
