There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
