And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Drunk is a universal language darling
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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