fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
