I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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