so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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