Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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