So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
