According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize