9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
