i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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