So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
