I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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