Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
