I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize