Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
