And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
