I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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