i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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