Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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