I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize