Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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