Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
