i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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