i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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