call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
