The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
