I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
