$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
