This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
