now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
