just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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