You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize