we're blogging at a bar
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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