if you like me you must not know who I am
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
