some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
