So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sext me about skeletons
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
